4w 5d

I had my second lot of bloods today... hCG 785 so they have doubled. While I know I should be happy about this, there is still that wee voice in me that says "it doubled last time at the start". ARGH!!! I want so badly to believe in this all being good and not reading into things. Its easier said than done tho (and I have watched plenty of girls say then do the same thing in the online support forum im in so im not alone). I think for me its cos with my last pregnancy my levels doubled... then they slowed down but were still rising which people would say was still fine, wait for the heartbeat and that will put your mind at ease.... and then we had a scan, we saw and heard the heartbeat but things weren't fine and 2 weeks later my pregnancy was over. 


I know logically that this pregnancy is different, and my levels have started off better.......but I can't stop the fear. I want to though, I have to find a way. Fortunately I have a very sane husband who is helping me through this, telling me that we have to celebrate the small victories and that today's levels are fantastic. I love him, he is my rock.


Symptoms for the last few days have also quieten (probably doesn't help the fear). My all day nausea has settled down to just occasional, my boobs still hurt and my fatigue has increased. My skin broke out a little on Monday night but nothing too major. And of course, im emotional/hormonal.


21 days until my scan and counting - please be viable, please let this all be healthy!!!