14w 5d

Today im feeling better. 

Im lucky - I know this. Lucky that im pregnant. Im lucky I have gotten this far. But most of all im lucky to have a husband to help me through the rough moments. I think with pregnancy, even when you are so so happy to be pregnant, we forget that hormones go crazy and sometimes make you think the worse. I tend to be this way naturally in life - I would rather prepare myself for hurt rather than it sneak up on me and surprise me. My husband reminded me its ok to have these moments, but Petrie is FINE. Everything up to this moment has been perfect and we (ok I) have to believe that it will continue on to be that. I need to believe in my ability to have success and that this pregnancy is successful.

Its time to change my thought process, I can't go on having moments of disbelief or worry as none of that is helping... me or the baby. My husband said his job is to look after me, make me happy and help me to believe. And my job is to keep on looking after Petrie as im doing a great job.
Love him

Today I had my midwife appointment. She too was reassuring that everything is normal (who would have thought that 'normal' could be so worrying ha ha) and that im doing a great job and bubs is doing what it should. We listened to Petrie on their doppler - way better than the one we have, its so clear and he/she was so easy to find and was beating away at 140bpm. She understood that im not use to success, only failure, and said that she too will support me to believe that all will be fine. She has booked in to see us again in 3 weeks so we can listen to the heartbeat again before our scan which we will do between xmas and new years. Also she said my due date is what we initially thought so yay for being a day closer to meeting our precious bubba!!!

So today I feel better, and will be doing my best to continue on with this positivity and just "Go with the Flow". I love my baby so much, I will not give up on us xx

14w 3d

Feeling quite low at the moment... can't get passed my anxieties at the moment. With each day that passes its a victory, but yet im still waiting for something or someone to say that its all over. Its like I don't believe that I am worthy of happiness or something. On the other hand, my self esteem is really low. Im waiting for the pregnancy glow, but all im feeling is like a frumpy old maid.


The worst thing about feeling like this, is that I feeling guilty by it - I should feel nothing but happiness and gratatue that im in this position. I feel guilty that I can't just believe and trust in my abilities to be pregnant, and to be happy. Why am I like this??


Can't wait until I see that bubs is still growing with my next scan, or when I start feeling him or her moving about. But more importantly, I need to find a way to get through this and being constantly excited about this life that we have finally created, and believe in my abilities in growing bubs and then being a mother. I am worthy.... I just have to remember this.

13w 3d

Things are just ticking along.


I am still suffering with exhaustion which gets me down - feel bad that I have sleeps and don't have much energy to do things, feel like im letting people down. I also get daily headaches which I hate - nothing worse than a constant fuzz in the head! But all in all preggie wise I have been ok - there is a girl in my due group who is still having regular hospital admissions as she can't hold anything down and is dehydrated constantly, must be so hard!!!


Still looking around at the shops getting ideas on what bubs will need. Have tried out some buggies and chosen which one we will get - its nice and light and easy for me to use which is what I need. Doesn't have the ability to have another seat added to it but we decided that if we were blessed to have another bubba we will worry about a double pram then, for now will just look at my needs which is the Mountain Buggy swift... can't wait to get it! We have put the cot up in the baby room, looks great!!! Can't wait to get the rest of the room sorted... exciting!!!


On Saturday I did a fasting glucose tolerance test to check for gestational diabetes as im at risk of this. I had heard things about these tests, how gross they are. It wasn't too bad - just quite sweet which is hard to drink when I had not eaten for so long. Will hopefully get results soon.


Following this we went out for breakfast - I was hanging out to eat, particularly bacon!! Got to the restaurant, ordered my food... and got served a chop!!! I was like "im not eating that", I felt like crying cos all I wanted was bacon! My hubby gave me one of his rashers and was going to have the chop but he couldn't cut it.... turns out it was raw on the inside!!! Eeww!!! I complained of course, raw meat to anyone is fowl but giving it to a preggie lady is definately not ok.


Since Saturday afternoon I have not been feeling well. Naturally I started worrying that it was related to my breakfast experience as all the food was stacked on top of each other (could have contaminated it??) but went to the GP today and they seem to think its just morning sickness rearing again.... even though I said I felt it was different to the other illness I had had. So I guess I will have to try and not worry and believe that all is ok with our baby... please please please be ok.

12 weeks!!!!!!!!

Woo hoo - I made it!!! Im finally 12 weeks!!!! Wow, I never thought this day would ever come - I just can't believe it!!! Im so so lucky to finally get here, its been a long road but we did it :)


Im looking forward to getting into my 2nd trimester, will be another milestone so can't wait for it.


Nothing too much to report with me. Still feeling quite tired and im getting daily headaches. I was worried that I may be getting a UTI but I don't think I am which is good. Im starting to get a bit of a belly/flab combo which is a wee bit exciting. Still in a blah phase though so im sure that when it becomes a proper belly I will start feeling better about my body.


We are now public about being pregnant - I have had such lovely support, its been quite overwhelming! Seems that heaps of people are quite excited for us which I think is adding to our excitement. Its quite fun :)
Caught up with a couple of friends today and one of them brought me a wee gift for Petrie - my first gift for bubs! Was so sweet, made me choke up a bit ha ha. Cute :)


Still feeling very overwhelmed about what to get for bubs but asking people and reading up on stuff to get more of an idea. I guess I just have to bite the bullet and get what feels right for me/us - especially as so many people have so many opinions on what worked for them which may not have worked for someone else. We will get there though im sure :) Brought my first lot of nappies today, time to build up the stock as im sure we will need quite a bit!!!

11w 5d

Scan day... oh wow, what an amazing experience!!! And such a relief!!! I was so worried that they would say it was a dream and that nothing was in there.... but straight away, we could see our beautiful bubba!!! Both of us were just blown away, it was incredible!!!

The lady was so lovely and explained everything she was showing us - we could see so much!! The brain, kidneys, stomach, bladder, heart that was beating loudly at 157bpm. It was all just perfect! For most of the scan, Petrie was just so chilled out, but then when she put it onto 3D and video we could see him/her moving about so much - its amazing how much it moves already.... incredible!!!

So all the main measurements came back perfect and we couldn't be happier. So now we have announced our news, and its just so lovely seeing/hearing all the supportive responses - it brings a tear to my eye!!!

I can't believe it - its really happening..... we are going to be parents!!!!

11w

Woo hoo - 11 weeks!!! Yay me - keep growing Petrie!!!


Today we started having a look at the shops.... wow, there is so much out there!!! Where on earth does one start??!! Not only is there so much that you need, there is so much variety - how do you know whats right? Some of its quite expensive, I don't want to buy dud stuff. Argh, this is going to be so hard and is totally overwhelming!!! There are some "essential" lists out there so think im going to have to get me one of them to know where to start as don't want to leave it till the last minute, want to start slowly getting things to spread the cost out!


I also think I have my first craving :) Im loving milk at the moment, can't get me enough of it! I have also started dry retching to smells and other random things (like blowing my nose) - it comes on randomly and isn't the most pretty thing you hear ha ha. Poor hubby, im bound to embarrasse him with one of these outbursts in public... can't be helped and like he said, he see's it as a positive that all is well with the pregnancy.... bless him xx

10w 6d

Today I recieved a doppler in the post from a friend... naturally I tried it out straight away. Initially I was playing around, had it on its loudest but couldn't hear anything other than rufflings. But then finally... there it was, teeny tiny gallop sounds. It was such a relief - im sure if anyone saw me they would have seen the biggest smile on my face. I called out to hubby and he was able to hear it too. So amazing - a faint but definate heartbeat!!! Its only going to get louder as Petrie grows too, can't wait!!!


Its amazing how much relief one gets from the small things such as this. Its going to make the next 6 days before my scan so much easier - knowledge that there is someone still growing inside of me. With each day its becoming more and more real that this is actually happening - I just want to shout it from the rooftops that "WE'RE FINALLY HAVING A BABY!!!!"


The days seem to be getting a bit faster now that im in the double digits too - its not dragging as much now so thats a bonus :)


I keep looking at my belly, wondering if im actually getting a bump of sorts - while im not a big big girl, I did have a tummy on me.... however it looks like I may just be getting the beginnings of an actual baby bump. Still not worthy of a photo, but worthy of watching out for!!!


This weekend we are off looking at baby gear - time to get an idea of whats out there and what will work for us! Can't wait to start this part of the journey... well have already started with the cot but can't wait to get more things and set up the baby's room :)


Im just getting so so excited now!!! Its real, its actually happening. I will be a mama xx

10w 3d

Its been a while since I posted :)

Time is just slowly ticking along, not really too much to report. My nausea has settled now - all in all it wasn't too bad. Still quite fatigued and having bouts of emotional outbursts. My boobs are on/off tender and growing - not too big just yet but definitely getting bigger. My tummy is starting to get some layering on it, looking a bit podge and its getting hard to suck in. Its actually a bit depressing - I feel so in between with the tummy, can't wait to just let it all out and be proud of my growing belly! Will start buying some clothes to make me feel better as mine are just making me feel frumpy. Also planning on getting my hair done next week - nothing like a cut and colour to make you feel better!!


I still have moments where I don't believe this is really happening but as the time goes on im believing more and more. I also think our families are getting more excited which helps me lots to know that they believe in Petrie. Looking at investing in a doppler, thinking it will be good to help reassure me when I have my moments of anxiety. 


I have my next scan next Thursday - only 9 more sleeps then the cat will well and truly be out of the bag!!! Can't wait to tell the world :)