Some poems I have found...these help to show the ongoing battle of this journey I didn't ask to take

Dreams

Some dream of big houses
Or shiny new cars,
Ours is to someday 
Hold a baby that’s ours.
Some dream of more money
To hoard and to keep,
Mine is to someday
Rock my baby to sleep.
Some dream of careers
In buildings so tall,
His is to someday
Toss his kid a baseball.
Some dream of great power
To be strong and tough,
Ours is to someday
Have a child to love.
Some dream of things
Such as silver and gold
Ours is of the day
Our child we’ll hold.




Questions

I sit here and wonder
Is it ever to be?
Will I get to display
The mother in me?
Wonder in time
How the story will end,
Will they just be for others-
The showers I attend.
When’s it my turn
I ask God each day,
The only answer I get
Is, “Not today”.
I ask only to know
What my future might be,
To plan and prepare
God, please tell me.
I just need to know
How long to be strong,
For sometimes I question
my strength to go on.
I sit here and wonder
Is it ever to be?
Will I get to display
The mother in me?

Infertility

As the time gets near
you prayed it would disappear
please, just one time
a healthy baby that is mine
cant you give
a big fat positive

Make it a girl or boy
either one would bring me joy
could it be that i may
live without another cliche'
"it will happen when it does"
"why make such a big fuss"

Only the ones with infertility
understand what it's like to be me
is it my husband or I
the thought causes me to cry
with the one question...Why?
To see little fingers and Toes
and a cute button nose

so many tears have been shed
lying at night in bed
wondering how it would be
to have a baby inside of me

someone pregnant will walk by
I try so hard not to cry
Why her, Why not me?
I think of every possibility
For my Infertility
I try to keep hope
thats the only way i can cope
my heart continues to break
every negative causes it to ache

Maybe one day i will see
A precious baby staring back at me
Love it with all my heart
and promise to never part
God i hope you guide me thru this
For that is my only wish
I deserve the chance to be a mom
to sing my baby a song
Take a look at me
For i am the face of INFERTILITY!!