35w 3d

Its all getting closer now. Nerves are starting to kick in - how will I manage labour, birth, breastfeeding, being a mother! The whole unknown for someone who likes to plan is a little daunting, especially when a little life will be depending on me for everything.... I hope I don't let her down!!!


This last week has been super emotional for me - hormones have well and truly kicked up a notch! I discussed this with my midwife on Wednesday and she made me realise that its normal to feel like this. She said that my feelings of not enjoying the pregnancy and the guilt of this is super common for IVF pregnancies.... the feeling that you wanted this so much and the lengths taken to get there means you should be so happy right??!!! My midwife said that for any pregnancy its hard.... let alone dealing with what we have had to. She totally understood where I was coming from and made me feel ok for feelings like this. At the end of the day, I love my baby and can't wait to meet her and thats all that matters!!! It was just nice to get that validation that im "normal" and not just depressed.


We had a specialist and obstetrician appointment along with a scan on Thursday. Still not having enough carb to reply on for energy - who would of thought it would be so hard to up the carb intake!!! But other than that they seem happy with how im managing the diabetes. Scan was great - she is still measuring within normal range, currently weighing 5lb 15oz. We could see her face a little better this scan too which was exciting - if only we could see her in 4D so we could get an idea of who/what she looked like. I guess she wants to keep us waiting on that one...
I was a bit guttered that I didn't see the consultant obstetrician as I really wanted to talk about induction... the doctor I saw was rubbish, even asked me where I was birthing (um, in your hospital under your care... no choice on that one - surely you should know that). I tried to get across how important it was for me psychologically to get a date, especially as this has been a hard pregnancy. Initially she said I would be induced at 37weeks, then this changed for between 38-39weeks. So basically we are still none the wiser!!! We have another appointment in 2weeks where I will be insisting on a date.... im just working on that its about 3-4weeks to go!!! Please be the earlier option - im getting impatient ha ha!!!


Yesterday my husband and I went and hung in the baby's room. Our cat and dog followed us in there and we just sat around dreaming of the life thats about to come into our world - looking at her books we have, the decor. It was a lovely moment. We can't wait for our lives to change with this little life, she is already so precious to us - I can imagine we will just spend hours starring at her in disbelief that she is here finally!!! Its been a long 3 years but what a reward we will have soon enough xx