8w 4d

Well I have made it, im now in unknown territory. With my last pregnancy, it was on this date that I had my D&C as the day before we had learnt that our baby had stopped growing and its heart had stopped.


I remember most of the day of the D&C. We had to go into hospital about 11am - I had spent most of the morning crying with my husband. I got into my gown and we waited until they were ready to take me into surgery.


I remember being on the bed being checked by the anesthesist just crying - this wasn't the way my baby was meant to come out of me. I then met a nurse who was trying to make me feel better saying that she had babies later in life and struggled (they knew it was a baby through fertility treatment) and they she said "I could have fucken slapped those who got pregnant so easily". It didn't cheer me up, but I could appreciate what she was trying to do.


I then went into surgery and when I woke, it was to pain physically from the surgery, and emotionally that I was no longer pregnant.


It was one of the worse days I have ever had. I felt so empty by the end of it and for a long time after too..... But this pregnancy has been different from the start - it took a while to get back to here, but I know that this time this bubs is a keeper. I know I will get to know my son or daughter - it always made me sad that I would never know what I was having last time. While its been a stressful 8w 4d, im still celebrating the small successes.... today is a big success. 


Im grateful for my pregnancy, I know I am one of the lucky ones. I can't wait for the next milestones of this pregnancy and ultimately meeting my baby.


Life is good